Thaaaaaaaannnnkkkssssss

Thanksgiving is approaching and although the cause for celebration behind it does not really resonate with me, (the pilgrim hijack), I will honor the more modernized tradition which is being thankful for everything that brings us joy, health, love and overall happiness.

I am thankful Koreans do not have a black frid--er-- week. Nothing about waiting in line in the freezing cold while still digesting my turkey or fighting off the tryptophan sounds appealing. I don’t care if there is a 90" TV for $200. Who needs a 90" TV anyway? Yeeesh!

I am thankful for the subway because it's a buck and I love when Koreans stare at me. I’ve become a pro at the quick wink. It creeps them out.

I am thankful for all the different types of coffee and my floor heating, the 24 hour Korean fast food restaurant on my building’s first floor, their-cheaper-than-Indy cabs, the food stands on the streets, ButterFinger Pancake restaurant, my mother for taking care of while profusely worrying about me, my family's health and Laura...

Laura, I am thankful for you. How in the Holy Good God of this wondrous world and everything that is sacred and true, have I not met you sooner (I blame Matt and Scott)? Sure it would have been nice to have "someone" here to help me go through the pesky things such as getting a Korean phone (btw my US number is no longer in service), a Korean bank account, navigate the subway stations... but this girl, THIS GIRL, is the bomb, people. We share the same values and friendship policies (we have no patience for "friends" who do not have the time for us. We live across the world and WE still make time for you, regardless of the time difference, hemisphere, continent, job, diet, shoe size, eye color, bra size...). I'd do anything for a friend or family member and I hope they would too. Laura, thanks for always laughing at everything I say (I am pretty funny) and being obsessed with eggs.

I’ve been here for well over a month and the days and weeks go by fairly quickly (except today...today suuuucckkkkssss), I get along with the kiddies to everyone's surprise but now... NOW... now that I've settled in, I'm about to go ape shit on some of them. In fact I have already made 3 kids cry and they hate me now and since job security is based on whether the kids like you, I make sure to play games before teaching as to reinstate my stature as Queen Jen Teacher. They bow to me (legit). Ah, young minds; so easily altered...Mwahaha

Please focus your attention on this short video and notice how obedient they are:

Also guys, thanks for raising my hopes up about losing "so much weight over there!" because Igained ten pounds, bitches*. How am I supposed to have a photo-shoot worthy of a Sports Illustrated magazine frolicking on the beach in Thailand? Or take pics with tigers and elephants that are so good as  to have them submitted to NatGeo? The elephant will never forget my weight! Anyway, I don’t really care..I said I'd be on the beach for New Year’s last year and I will be. So I’m eating pizza tonight. 

I'd like to comment on pictures flooding my Facebook of dead animals. For those peoples’information, hunting is not a "sport". It certainly does not make you admirable or distinguished. In fact it makes you merit a good lecture:

hunting disrupts migration and hibernation patterns and destroys families. For animals such as wolves, who mate for life and live in close-knit family units, hunting can devastate entire communities. The stress that hunted animals suffer, severely compromises their eating habits, making it hard for them to store the fat and energy they need in order to survive the winter (peta.org).

You can educate yourself more by simply Googling: "negative effects of hunting on ecosystems". Nature takes care of its own, so if your argument is " well...I'm controlling animal population" you're an idiot and you should be controlled.

In addition, and this is important, I would like to bring up what happened in North Korea on November 3rd. I won’t go into too much detail as to what my thoughts are since I might just combust but I would just like to make you aware of all the injustice and cruelty that exists in this world. There are horrible occurrences, unspeakable hatred and terror and it would benefit our kind so much if we knew what happened outside our own bubbles. Please read the news and inform yourself, know that the world does not revolve around you. 

This year I am mostly thankful for  my right to vote, my freedom of speech and my liberty. I know how good I have it, do you?

As Arturo Sandoval said (he was just awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom): 

 "What I like the most is the last part of the medal — freedom -- because I always say that ‘no freedom, no life." 

 Happy Thanksgiving and holidays.

With love, 

Jen

  

* this is a grossly exaggerated estimate