The Happiness Project
Lately, I've wondered: am I happy?
Fundamentally speaking, I am considered to be 75% wealthier than the world population: I keep my food in a fridge, my clothes in a closet, have a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. Add to that a healthy family and group of friends who love me, a relatively well-paid job with benefits, a car, and Enzo's unconditional love and affection. I'd say I'm at 100% satisfaction, yet I still feel I can't get any. So I took a happiness test (you can take it here).
My Strengths:
I feel loved and supported by my social network. I am not a cynical individual (this one must be erroneous)
My Potential Strengths:
I fall in the mid-range of optimism and pessimism. My outlook on life is fairly hopeful. I possess adequate coping skills
My Limitations:
I have none!
I don't think this gave me anything substantial. I'd have to pay $5 to get a full report....how cheap of me.
Here is my problem: I have high expectations and constantly look for things and people to make me happy, yet I'm always disappointed (I blame Hollywood and our culture).
There is this notion that "the secret to happiness is low expectations" (see Pessimist post). It may work in theory, but it does not hold true when tested practically. Should I lower my life's expectations? I most certainly hella won't!
I am willing to wait for those expectations to happen. Why should I lower my standards to fit the mold of society's average level of happiness? No. I will get the career I want, the house I want. I will have an adoring, fun-loving and smart husband who I will marry on a tropical island and celebrate to Latino music. We will have a great healthy and successful life and adopt babies. If not, I always have my coping skills...
Having high expectations about the future apparently makes us happier in the present. Expecting something good to happen results in anticipatory pleasure. I also think that happiness has to do with your surroundings. I’m not particularly fond of my city. To me, there is not much to do. I've been to all the museums, the zoo, the bars, there are not many activities or social cultural events I'm interested in attending. I'd love to wake up with a beach front view, put my scuba gear on and go for morning dives. Live the island life...Truth is I probably wouldn't even be happy in a different state after the rush faded. I wouldn't know anyone; I'd be far from my parents and brothers. It's the change in scenery that makes it exciting. I don't know what makes me happy. Thinking of losing my health, my job, my parents could put things in perspective but I can't even grasp and pretend how that could become a reality.
What do you think? What makes you happy? What is your definition of happiness? Or should I schedule an appointment with my shrink?
Fundamentally speaking, I am considered to be 75% wealthier than the world population: I keep my food in a fridge, my clothes in a closet, have a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. Add to that a healthy family and group of friends who love me, a relatively well-paid job with benefits, a car, and Enzo's unconditional love and affection. I'd say I'm at 100% satisfaction, yet I still feel I can't get any. So I took a happiness test (you can take it here).
My Strengths:
I feel loved and supported by my social network. I am not a cynical individual (this one must be erroneous)
My Potential Strengths:
I fall in the mid-range of optimism and pessimism. My outlook on life is fairly hopeful. I possess adequate coping skills
My Limitations:
I have none!
I don't think this gave me anything substantial. I'd have to pay $5 to get a full report....how cheap of me.
Here is my problem: I have high expectations and constantly look for things and people to make me happy, yet I'm always disappointed (I blame Hollywood and our culture).
There is this notion that "the secret to happiness is low expectations" (see Pessimist post). It may work in theory, but it does not hold true when tested practically. Should I lower my life's expectations? I most certainly hella won't!
I am willing to wait for those expectations to happen. Why should I lower my standards to fit the mold of society's average level of happiness? No. I will get the career I want, the house I want. I will have an adoring, fun-loving and smart husband who I will marry on a tropical island and celebrate to Latino music. We will have a great healthy and successful life and adopt babies. If not, I always have my coping skills...
Having high expectations about the future apparently makes us happier in the present. Expecting something good to happen results in anticipatory pleasure. I also think that happiness has to do with your surroundings. I’m not particularly fond of my city. To me, there is not much to do. I've been to all the museums, the zoo, the bars, there are not many activities or social cultural events I'm interested in attending. I'd love to wake up with a beach front view, put my scuba gear on and go for morning dives. Live the island life...Truth is I probably wouldn't even be happy in a different state after the rush faded. I wouldn't know anyone; I'd be far from my parents and brothers. It's the change in scenery that makes it exciting. I don't know what makes me happy. Thinking of losing my health, my job, my parents could put things in perspective but I can't even grasp and pretend how that could become a reality.
What do you think? What makes you happy? What is your definition of happiness? Or should I schedule an appointment with my shrink?
What you fail to understand is that Happiness is a choice. We can all chose to be happy or we can chose to be gloomy. Everything we perceive and feel all depends on our outlook. One can change their outlook without changing anything else in their lives. How we look at things can affect how we feel about them and ourselves. You just have to look inward and make a conscious effort to see things differently. I recommend watching this 10 minute video "This is Water" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmpYnxlEh0c).
ReplyDeleteYou can be happy without changing your long term goals or lowering your expectations. It's great to have goals and dreams, but while dreaming of the future you can't forget to live in the now. There is plenty out there to experience even in this so called "boring" city of ours. There are hundreds of restaurants and bars you haven't tried, day hikes to be had, events to go to...; you just have to break out of your comfort zone and look at things more openly. I myself will be partaking in salsa lessons later this evening.
To grow we must adapt with what we are presented, which is something that doesn't have to be complicated. Simply look at it from a different perspective and see that things aren't truly that bad, they could be worse and yes they could be better; but we still are the captains of our own lives and it is up to us to make the best of it.
(TL;DR: Simply by changing how you view things can make you happier with where you are, without giving up on dreams or lowering expectations.)
-K
If you have time listen to the whole speech "This is Water" it runs about 22 minutes between the 2 parts. Just YouTube "This is Water" It's a real eye opener.
ReplyDelete-K