When Traveling Isn't Always What It Seems...

Australia is a beautiful country. Every picture, travel show, or thought you’d have or seen about it, that is it. Its varied geography: landscapes, tropical rainforests, mountain ranges, and dry desert; its biodiversity, humans included, are spectacular.

Traveling or moving to Australia, or any foreign country, sounds exhilarating and liberating. Anyone can agree that, simply put, it's cool as fuck. Rightly so, your days are filled with new encounters, joyful celebrations, and eventful occurrences. After all, aren’t these trips to be seized and embraced with a full on smile on your face? My time in Seoul was exactly that. I’d make friends left and right, welcomed every unfamiliarity, and lived life 100%. I felt empowered, and self-assured, anything was possible. This was how I wanted to feel for the rest of my life.

Once I returned to the States, I was high off my Korean experience and refused to let it go. I decided to follow through with plans to travel to Australia, and continue the thrill. I knew the experience in Oz would be different, but I’d keep an open mind, and embrace it nonetheless. Nothing, and no one could stop me. I planned my flight, my stay, my possible job, and back up job(s), and off I went!

Prior to my departure, people would tell how amazing Australia was, that they'd live vicariously through me, and even predict that I'd never want to leave! Hot damn! Well...as it turns out…I can’t wait to leave! Surprised? Same.

Since my arrival in Oz, I have felt mentally drained and exhausted, anxious, and void of any ambitious sentiments. All of those acquired empowering characteristics mentioned above, have been evicted and replaced with self-doubt, aimlessness, and aversion. As shocking as it may sound, I feel like I am on the verge of losing my identity.

As humans, our greatest joys (and sorrows) come from our relationships. The closest relationship I’ve had here, has been with my cell phone. I’ve been constantly in touch with the people I’m attached to, since making friends here has been challenging (almost everyone speaks English, so people are less inclined to form new bonds, or create new friendships, especially when they’ve got an already solid circle of friends).

I confided in two friends (also travelers) whom could relate to my struggles. They too, questioned the state of their lives, and felt as crushed and lost as I had been. It came about, that perhaps we couldn’t have it all. That, we didn’t deserve two years of remarkable life experiences in a row, and that we may have an unattainable sense of reality, in wanting to push our luck and limits. Silly us, wanting it all, pfff.

Wanting to achieve more in life is what has ultimately distressed me. After Korea, I thought I could not be as satisfied with what I had: a family who loved me to the moon and back, and friends who appreciated and loved my eccentricities, and bluntness (aka my charm, hehe).

While these past six weeks have been rough, I do not regret coming, as I believe I needed to experience this struggle. I am still doing, learning, and growing more, than I would have ever thought capable had I remained home. I may be lost but, I will find the road to redemption. This process makes me more secure in who I want to be. Most importantly, it makes me realize that I need therapy…

I recently read an article that resonated with me. I might as well have written it myself. The author wrote about how there are certain signs in your life that may signify that it is time for a life change. Signs such as feeling numb and disenchanted with your current situation, and losing passion for it, amongst other legitimate reasons. Like the article suggests, at some point, one needs to let go of what no longer is of purpose to them, in order to make room for what will work. I grew and evolved from my experiences, and as a result, so did my passions. Consequently, my mind has been wandering back to what’s more familiar, and certain. My wanderlust is still very much alive, I simply would like to share it with the people I am close with...

So let this be a lesson, a reminder, and warning to anyone who wishes to country hop: you can't just move anywhere and expect to recreate a past life. It doesn't work that way. Also, do not go back home in between countries. You might meet someone.

Coming April 19th 

Article here: "10 Signs It's Time For A Major Life Change"